it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
