Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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