My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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