Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
