I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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