bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
