I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
