therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
should my penis look like a turkey
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dear god my vagina.
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