What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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