Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
