cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
