After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
