Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
