found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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