i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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