My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
