As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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