Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
