I feel great
I just peed on a car
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
