you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
