You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
