His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
