I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
How external is "for external use only"?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
