Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
