Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
