i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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