We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I've blown a few things in my day
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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