I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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