careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
