dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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