Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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