i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
