New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
