It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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