im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
