the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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