i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize