I just saw a hot homeless man
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
