angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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