Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
