you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
