the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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