I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The feeling are messing with the penis
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
