I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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