S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
