$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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