we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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