if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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