Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I looked at my own cervix.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
