Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
