Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
