How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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