I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
